This is a topic I feel the urge to discuss, because I'm getting day after day more hopeless about men. As a preface, let me clarify I haven't been with many men in my life because 1. I'm picky 2. I'm old fashion and believe in serious relationships, the ones you eventually fall in love, not one night kinda thing 3. I like to be by myself, so I'm never really "searching".These past years have been plenty of up and downs, love and drama, but in the end I'm finding myself alone. The world has evolved, relationships got more fragile, quick marriages, quick divorces, people do everything quickly, have no patience anymore. Few knows love, half of them fear it, the other half is heart-broken and don't want to suffer anymore. We are growing colder and more distant.
Anyway, lately I've been observing the types of men I see around, and how they behave. Few rare pearls are left (and already married damn it) but the rest can be divided in:
Sugar daddies. First, most growing category. Those old rich papas find easily needy young girls that would do pretty much anything to be pampered day in day out. Bah. No comment.
Married men looking for adventures (reported from my girlfriends-they usually say they are getting divorced but never happen. Wife at home, adventures away from home. Why bother?)
Singles who wanna be singles and have a girlfriend just when "they feel like" (booty call anyone?)
Men married with their job (chronically too busy for anything else)
Men who just... LIKE you. But they like you in a way they like other 100 out there. They usually have a collection of tits and asses pics on their phone and yes, bet they even check out the waiter who's taking the order at the deli. A lost cause.
Then there are men who seems to be into you, respectful, polite, good-looking too.. And you don't feel anything. GOD, but WHY?
Some of the men I listed are educated and interesting, some full of themselves, some rude, some boring and doesn't really know how to hold a conversation beside where are you from, wow you work out yada yada. You might think oh I'm so negative and impossible... Hell NO. I like someone with interests, positivity, sense of humor. Doesn't have to be fit or have same exact interests I have, he can be quite different honestly, just respectful of me, my time, my lifestyle. Oh and I rather him to be chubby than too skinny lol. Is there a guy like this? NOT married? I'm getting hopeless. And the more I get hopeless, the more I flirt. Yes because I play their game in turn.
I think though part is my fault too. First of all, I'm not the most social person on the planet. Then I always start with prejudices, I look for things I dont like right away lol...which is VERY wrong.
I met few great guys, I have to be honest. It just never "clicked". OR... I got "scared". Initially I might feel interested but end up stepping back. Either I'm scared to get involved because I'm believing less and less in finding the right person for me and its gonna be a waste of time, or because I feel more comfortable at a "friendship level", no sex no attachments etc. Am I becoming shallow and distant too? I don't want to, but this is my reaction to what I see around me, a world where deep feelings and emotions are vanishing like sand castles. But no, I still believe in love. I don't know if I believe in men!