Why I don't do what I do to join the circus

"Oh you should join the circus!" "Why aren't you in a show?"

It's funny how people can't see why I would train so hard without having a definite end goal like being in a show. I used to get asked the same thing when I was doing fitness: "What are you training so much for?" It was difficult for people to understand that I enjoyed to work on training and diet without actually having an end goal like a fitness competition, I just loved the process and the everyday grind, the path more than the destination ... That was it. Yes I competed in fitness but in the end, after few years of doing that, it got old, I loved training more than showing it off as a result, it was my lifestyle, and so it is now.

So these are some reasons why I don't wanna be in a show/circus:

  1. I'm "old". Honestly, I'm turning 30 next year and I wouldn't put my body under the stress of performing daily, beside athletes who have been training certain skills for decades. I'm not at circus level, nor I'm aiming to be.
  2. Training to perform and training "for training" are two different things. When you train to perform you basically repeat a certain routine and moves incessantly, to make it perfect and to feel the most confident once you perform. There is not much room to focus on new moves or improve on other skills (unless you're 15 yo and can train 6hrs a day, but I'm talking from my perspective of adult training contortion). Your goal is performing, not challenge your limits each time or keep learning new stuff. I like to train, overall what I like most is feeling challenged, reach new goals and learn more about my body. Those three things are everything to me!
  3. When you're in a show you're "forced" to do the same thing every day, often twice a day. This can become a drag and I can see how easily you can start getting tired of it, not only physically, but mentally too. I don't think I would love contortion so much if I had to warm up and perform twice a day, 5-6 days a week, if performing was my full time job.
  4. Talking about the physical intensity of such job, again not being a performer since young age, my body wouldn't last. I already get very sore and experienced minor injuries in the past from training only, I don't even wanna think what a mess my body would be if I performed daily.
  5. I do what I do because I love to train myself and teach, performing is not what motivates me. Don't get me wrong, I like to perform, but in different occasions like conventions, events, special acts entertainment at night clubs and so on, that is actually fun, part time and not so draining on the body.
  6. I guess the way I enjoy the most contortion is by practicing it. I look forward to my training days, I love to track my progress, I even love the exhaustion followed by an intense session. I trained my body all my life (different sports and activities), and I never felt so challenged with anything else the same way I feel when I stretch. Training contortion gets the thoughest side of me, it reinforces my self belief and makes me stronger everyday, even in daily life. It calms the storm of thoughts I have sometimes inside, it makes me feel at peace, it has really become a part of me. Performing is exciting, I like being on a stage and I like the attention, but training is what I truly love the most :)